I’m Not Okay, I’m Here.

Healing hurts—sometimes more than the very thing that broke you.

Because we’re all uniquely wired, our nervous systems carry pain in ways that run deep—spiritually, mentally—long before it ever shows up physically.

Remember that next time you see a woman lashing out from bitterness.

Or a man crashing out because he has nowhere safe to unravel without his manhood being questioned.

I’ve lashed out.

I’ve crashed out.

Privately and publicly.

And none of it reset my healing. I’m still deep in the process of overcoming what broke me.

I hurt every day—not just from the pain, but from the desire for more. For the life I imagined. For the version of me I’ve always believed I deserved to be.

So I’m letting go—of the performance, the polished image, the pretending.

And I’m giving myself permission to live in the mess. Because even in the mess, there’s movement.

And maybe even mercy…

“But he said to me, ‘My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.’

Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me.” — 2 Corinthians 12:9 (NIV)